More couples are asking Econoloft to build a loft conversion to allow them to sleep in separate bedrooms
In the world of relationships, few things are as intimate as sharing a bed with your partner. For many, it’s a nightly ritual that symbolises closeness, comfort, and connection. But in recent years, an increasing number of couples are redefining what it means to sleep together—by choosing to sleep apart. This trend, often called a “sleep divorce,” involves couples opting for separate bedrooms or sleeping arrangements to get a better night's rest. While this may seem like a red flag to some, Econoloft has seen first hand the growing popularity of sleep divorce and conclude it’s less about relationship troubles and more about prioritising health, well-being, and even the long-term success of the relationship.
So, what exactly is driving this shift? And how does sleeping apart affect relationships, intimacy, and overall happiness? Let’s dive into the phenomenon of sleep divorce and why it might not be as problematic as it sounds.
Why do couples choose a sleep divorce?
Sleep divorce, which was once stigmatised as a sign of relationship breakdown, is now being openly discussed and accepted by more couples. In fact, surveys have shown one in 20 home owners saying they want a bigger house or expand their own to have separate bedrooms. And in Greater London, where Econoloft builds most of its loft conversions, the figure is one in ten, according to a Daily Mail report.
This uptick is often attributed to the growing awareness of how crucial sleep is to overall health and well-being. Here are some of the top reasons why couples are choosing to sleep apart:
Sleep Disorders and Disturbances
Many people suffer from sleep disorders such as insomnia, sleep apnea, or restless leg syndrome. When one partner struggles with a disorder, it often affects the other. Snoring, tossing and turning, or waking up frequently in the middle of the night can prevent both partners from getting a restful night's sleep.
In the case of snoring, it’s not just an inconvenience—it can severely impact the quality of sleep for the non-snoring partner. According to a Harley Street ENT clinic, over 40% of adults in the UK snore, which adds up to approximately 15 million people. Approximately 1 in 10 snorers is affected by sleep apnoea. Men are about twice as likely to snore as women. Rather than lose sleep night after night, many couples decide that separate sleeping spaces are a more practical solution.
Partners have different sleep preferences
One of the most common reasons for sleep divorce is differing sleep preferences. Couples may have different circadian rhythms or body clocks, with one person being a night owl while the other is an early riser. This misalignment can cause friction if one partner is wide awake and active while the other is trying to sleep.
Similarly, people often have varying preferences for room temperature, lighting, and mattress firmness. One person may prefer sleeping in a cooler, darker room, while the other enjoys warmth and a soft mattress. These differences can lead to discomfort, and separate bedrooms offer a simple fix.
Restless Nights Due to Children or Pets
Parenting, while rewarding, often comes at the cost of a good night's sleep. Babies, toddlers, or even older children frequently wake up during the night, leading to disrupted sleep. Often, one parent is more involved in nighttime care, while the other may need to be well-rested for work or other responsibilities.
Similarly, couples who allow pets to sleep in bed with them may find that one partner is more tolerant of the pet's movements or sounds than the other. In these cases, separate bedrooms provide a refuge for the non-caretaker or pet-sensitive partner.
The Importance of Sleep for Health and Happiness
Modern science is continually uncovering the importance of sleep for physical and mental health. Poor sleep has been linked to a host of issues, including weakened immune systems, weight gain, cognitive decline, and mood disorders such as anxiety and depression. With this knowledge, many couples are prioritising sleep over the traditional expectation of sharing a bed.
In fact, a lack of quality sleep can exacerbate relationship tensions. When we’re sleep-deprived, we’re more likely to be irritable, less patient, and less understanding, which can lead to increased conflict between partners. In contrast, well-rested partners are more likely to have positive interactions and engage in productive communication. Choosing to sleep apart can actually reduce stress and foster a healthier, more harmonious relationship.
Sleep Divorce Doesn't Mean Trouble
For years, sleeping in separate beds or rooms has been associated with marital trouble or emotional distance. Couples who admitted to sleeping apart were often assumed to be in the throes of a dying relationship. But today, that narrative is changing, and the rise of sleep divorce reflects a growing understanding that a successful relationship doesn’t require adhering to traditional norms, especially when those norms come at the expense of health and happiness.
Many couples who embrace sleep divorce report that their relationship improves as a result. When both partners are well-rested, they are more present, attentive, and affectionate toward one another. Rather than a lack of intimacy, sleep divorce often fosters deeper emotional and physical connections because partners aren’t battling fatigue and irritability.
The impact of sleep divorce on intimacy
Of course, one of the most common concerns about sleep divorce is its impact on intimacy. After all, the bed is traditionally a place for couples to connect physically and emotionally. Does sleeping in separate rooms mean that intimacy will dwindle?
The truth is, it depends on the couple. For some, sharing a bed is integral to their sense of closeness, and the idea of sleeping apart might feel like a loss of intimacy. But for others, intimacy can be maintained—and even enhanced—through intentional effort.
Sleep divorce doesn’t have to mean separate bedrooms every night. The key is that sleep arrangements should be tailored to fit the unique needs of each couple, rather than adhering to societal expectations. Whether that means sleeping in separate bedrooms every night or simply having the option to do so occasionally, the goal is to ensure both partners are well-rested and happy.
An Econoloft loft conversion can facilitate your sleep divorce
As conversations about sleep and mental health become more prominent, it’s likely that sleep divorce will continue to grow in popularity – certainly that’s the impression Econoloft is getting from talking to our customers. What was once considered unusual is now becoming a lifestyle choice that prioritises well-being over tradition.
Ultimately, the rise of sleep divorce reflects a broader trend in modern relationships: the willingness to adapt and make decisions based on what works best for both individuals, rather than clinging to outdated norms. Whether it’s sleeping in separate rooms or simply having a flexible approach to sleep, couples are finding new ways to ensure both their relationship and their well-being thrive.
In the end, sleep divorce isn’t about separation—it’s about connection, comfort, and making sure that both partners wake up feeling their best. If you would like to talk to Econoloft about promoting your health and happiness by adding another bedroom in the loft, we’re ready and waiting.
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